Rituals Satanic Ritual #1: How To Moon the Cog:

  • Step 1: Hike up to the junction of the Cog Railway and the Appalachian Trail on Mount Washington in New Hampshire, USA. Doff Packs
  • Step 2: Wait for train full of Marge and Ernies to approach
  • Step 3: Excercize restraint: You must draw their full attention to maximize the effect. As the smokling beast passes, smile and wave at your captive audience. Many passengers will likely interpret your friendly woodsperson-like poses as a great opportunity to take a few pictures
  • Step 4: When you are satisfied a goodly number of then are at the ready to release their shutters, call upon your companions to 180 in unison, drop your skivies, and present your derriers.
  • Step 5: spank buttock of your choice (preferebly your own unless accompanied by Canadian damsels in state of undress).
  • Step 6: Three to five seconds should suffice. Don your trunks and return to your starting pose - smile and wave goodby to your new found friends as they chug-a-lug off with every sordid detail of the topography of your ass forever emblazened upon their minds.
  • Step 7: Congratulations! You have earned your officially sanctioned membership in the ATO! You must now repeatedly and maniacally chortle

    Satanic Ritual #2: Crag-O-Ween